Real Zombies Survival Training

I’m not talking about how to survive the typical Night of the Living Dead, 28 Days Later, or The Walking Dead kind of zombies (you just need to follow the rules laid out by Columbus in the Zombieland movies and you’ll improve your odds). I’m talking about how to survive the very real zombies you encounter every single day — the ones shambling around your office. The zombies at your job and the zombies in your industry.

Here are things office zombies have in common with movie zombies…

Slow moving
In the movie 28 Days Later we were introduced to fast-moving zombies which means these movie zombies actually have an advantage over your work zombies — but traditionally, movie zombies moved slowly and stiffly (just like your office zombies). Office zombies don’t just move slowly (ever get stuck behind one of them wandering in the halls??) but they think slowly too. They don’t seem to grasp new ideas or new technology and always groan about how they “used” to do something a different way back in the old days or back at their old job or with an outdated version of computer software. These zombies will pile on and drag you under. Better to keep a safe distance.

The catch stragglers
You don’t want to be stuck behind with this slow moving and slow thinking zombies. They’ll turn you into one of them if you lag behind in adopting new ideas or exploring new technology. Don’t wait for permission to try new things or take leadership roles.

They’ll put the bite on you
Your co-worker zombies want to sink their teeth into you by getting you to abandon any optimism about your job or the industry or the economy. They will only groan and complain about negative things happening in your office and in the world. They will share juicy mindless gossip in hopes of hooking you and converting you into one of their kind.

The don’t know they’re zombies
These shambling mounds of useless flesh used to be vital, value-providing human beings — but they let other work zombies infect their attitudes and outlooks and turned them into what you see before you today. But a zombie infection takes time to affect its human host. The transformation is so slow that the infected don’t even seem to realize they’ve been turned into zombies. They keep showing up to work and going through the motions of their jobs without actually accomplishing anything. It’s a dreary existence, so avoid allowing these creatures to infect you at all costs.

The best way to survive the zombie invasion is to find a group of individuals and band together to protect each other.

Find positive people who see the potential in projects. Align with people who encourage others and have their backs in a fight. Connect with people you can learn from (and those who are willing to learn from you in return).

Find your community.
A group with common goals to not just survive — but to thrive in a changing world.